As I ease back into writing my blog I’ve decided to take it easy with some lighter topics. With what is going on in the world, especially this country right now, I wanted to keep to keep my subjects more benign for the moment. Although some may not find the subject of love benign.
The subject is more about what we consider to be our ideal partner and the reality of life. At my advancing age I’m not even looking for a partner, but if I was my PERFECT man would be Hugh Jackman. He is everything I could ever want he’s super hot, has a beautiful smile that lights up his eyes, has a great sense of humour, he’s got a great accent, he’s genuinely a nice guy, and he’s a great husband and father. Oh and he’s 6’2. What’s not to love? Now obviously, I don’t stand a chance. First off he’s devoted to his wife and I find that sexy as hell. There is nothing sexier than a man who loves his wife and is a great father. Also, given that looks wise he is so out of my league.
Now if I were to look for a partner at this stage of my life I’d still require a man with a great sense of humour, he has to make me laugh. That’s a must! Trust me humour and kindness can overcome a lot. Plus these days I need a man with intelligence who is aligned with me politically. Not because politics is so important, but because these days I am finding that my political views line up with my morals. I’d want a man who has common sense and deals in facts. I need stimulating conversation we don’t have to agree on everything but I crave someone who can talk about things and be respectful. In fact, I find that respect is sometimes even more vital than love. I’d want someone who is kind, has compassion, empathy, and loves animals.
So if anyone has noticed, I didn’t mention looks. Don’t get me wrong, if a man looks like a complete troll, doesn’t brush his teeth, has greasy hair, and never showers…well that’s a natural turn-off for anyone of either gender. I’m no beauty so I don’t expect a handsome man in the classic sense. However, a man with a beautiful smile will become infinitely more attractive to me. If he opens his mouth and has a sense of humour etc, he will become more attractive by the minute.
I remember vividly a girl I used to work with when I was in my late 20’s, she and I had a conversation that other people became involved in, in which her deal breaker was the guy HAD to be over six feet tall. I asked her, “So, if I guy has EVERYTHING you could ever want on your list but he was 5’11 you’d reject him?”. She said, “yes!”. The crazy thing was that pretty much everyone, including the guys, agreed with her! I was in shock and really hurt by some of the things that were said. I mean, height? Really? Something that a person has no control over? That was depressing. How superficial are we as a society that something like height can keep you from your dream mate? And of course being an unattractive woman means I have no chance. Lol Guys are especially bad when it comes to looks being super important. I tried to match up my ex-husband’s friend with a girlfriend of mine. She was beautiful and sweet but she was like 15 pounds overweight. Meanwhile, this guy was NOT attractive and 100 or more pounds overweight, he said no way. I was shocked! He would have been lucky to have been with her! But, with the exception of the girl I spoke of, most women (definitely not all) are not as hung up on looks. He did end up getting married to a thin, fairly attractive, woman (not as beautiful as my friend) his personality was pretty dull but he made a good amount of money so I figure it was easier for him with that going for him.
In conclusion, I guess my point is…don’t pass up a possible GREAT partner because they don’t conform to your physical ideal because looks fade what’s inside is something we have always been told is more important. It’s time to take that to heart if you want to be happy. Seriously if a person has everything else going for them they will become more attractive in time. I know because I’ve seen it happen. I was in love with someone I was not attracted to, but he was so kind to me and we had so much in common that in time he became more attractive to me. Love is elusive, not everyone is lucky enough to experience it. Lust is much more common and that can also turn into love. But it will not always sustain it.
So there ya go, my advice. Don’t be so damn picky!!!! If you find love, accept it, and nurture the hell out of it because it can be fleeting and can leave as quickly as it came. Cherish the one you love and if they are worth it, make it work with everything you have!